I keep myself busy with all sorts of things.
Movies. Books. Music. Travel.
Friends. Family. Internet. Church.
The list goes on and on.
It’s an escape.
It is nice not to think.
Instead to focus on
someone else’s life.
It scares me to consider
who I’ve lost.
Not only what I’ve lost-my husband.
But the who.
Mark.
Who he is.
And that he is gone.
I am so afraid
of that.
I wanted to help.
To make him better.
To save him.
Our life.
Future.
Family.
I still can’t believe
it.
Six months later.
Half a year.
Shock.
This can’t be real.
July 7, 2009 at 5:14 am
Angie I know how hard this is and how unreal it all seems. How I still wish it weren’t true. How time does not heal all…. Where did that saying come from anyway? I miss Mark for many reasons, but especially for what he meant in your life…
July 7, 2009 at 5:48 am
I have remained silent for so long reading your blog since we don’t know each other. I want you to know that I pray for you all the time. That God would surround you, strengthen you, uphold you and carry you. My heart aches for you just thinking about how your heart must ache. I am thankful that we serve an amazing God who is bigger than anything in our lives and who brings us through the impossible because in Him and only in Him can we be taken through the most difficult. Praying for you constantly!!!
July 7, 2009 at 5:58 am
No words really. Just a promise to continue to pray for you and Nolan.
July 7, 2009 at 5:59 am
The stages of grief are overwhelming and all consuming. In Nolan Mark lives on. The halfway point and holidays are sure to be the hardest. You are the strongest person I know Angie and nobody can truly understand unless they have lived it. Thinking of you today
July 7, 2009 at 9:48 am
I can’t believe he’s been gone that long. Love you guys.
July 7, 2009 at 10:43 am
I’m so proud of you, but then again, when we are at our weakest, He is there to hold us up. Keep leaning on your faith, family and friends. You are loved Angie.
July 7, 2009 at 11:32 am
For the longest time I thought no friend could love my friend Angie the way I do. I’m grateful there are others out there that love u so very much! I’ve watched u mature into the beautiful woman u are. Large in part to your faith (which I admire), Mark, and your loving family and friends! I’m thankful to the Lord for Mark. I’m grateful he was destined to be your husband and you his wife. Ur love and committment to one another continue to be an inspiration to so many! He lives still in our memories and in our hearts! We miss you Mark!
July 7, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Angie, healing takes time. And when you are ready to face it and have finished your grieving you will know. Someday a while down the line (a year or three), you will move on. The pain won’t be so bad. You will hurt a lot less for you loss and only remember the wonderful love you shared. Life will go on and start anew for you. In the meantime, put your grief and love for Mark into prayers to God, and energy into doing the things you are currently doing.
Today you will become an aunt and I a great-aunt. Teach your sister to be a good parent. Help her to learn the things she will need to know. In that child as well as Nolan our family’s life goes on.
July 7, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Even though six months have gone by, it is obvious the love that our Heavenly Father gave to you two is so real. I can tell that you lived your married life to the fullest & I love the fact that you have all sorts of pictures to look at.
I’m praying for you today & always! Nancy
July 7, 2009 at 2:21 pm
thinking about you Angie. praying for you.
July 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Something we can not change is the past, no matter how hard we try. I think when we come to realize that fact and mostly accept that reality we can move forward away from pain and sadness. It takes time, lots of time.
Don’t be afraid of the past or the future. God and the people who love you will take care of you.
July 7, 2009 at 8:32 pm
My nephew Brandon is visiting me this week and each night we’ve been saying our prayers. He prays for his parents, family, “friends” (his stuffed animals) and then for you and Nolan…and “Mark, who’s in heaven with God” (out of the mouth of a 4 year old). It was the sweetest thing and brought tears to my eyes. Brandon told me all about how he plays with Nolan and has so much fun.
He was talking about wanting to invite ALL of his friends over for a play date when he got back to CA (specifically saying Nolan, Caleb, Braden, Logan…and I know I’m forgetting 2 others darn it). They are so precious and I wanted you to know that you are on our minds and in our prayers. God bless!
July 7, 2009 at 9:45 pm
So thankful that the Lord’s loving arms are wrapped tightly around you right now!
Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Prayer Bears
My email address
July 8, 2009 at 7:34 am
Mark your nephew was born this morning at 12:35 am. 9lbs 12ozs. 21inches long. How I wish you were here to celebrate with us all…..
July 8, 2009 at 11:25 am
We’ve had Winter, Spring and now Summer. Is six months supposed to be a long time or a little bit of time? Sometimes it seems like it just happened. I guess the perspective of “time” is relative to situation and circumstance. I bet the definition of “healing” is too.
I don’t think I’ve told you, but we still pray for both of you by name everynight.
Love you.
July 8, 2009 at 1:56 pm
” Summertime & the living is easy….hush little baby & don’t you cry…” how I wish this was true for you.
I know you will one day find in you your “invincible summer” even though you feel you are still in the midst of winter.
6 months = 1/2 a year, still here, still thinking of you & Nolan…
July 10, 2009 at 3:03 am
Thinking of you…
Here is another blog of someone who unfortunately lost their spose 6 months ago also. I hope you can find some comfort in “knowing” one another….
http://www.sweetcarolinebaby.blogspot.com/