A Wonderful Love

So here’s today’s version of my testimony. I feel like there’s so much more to it, all those details, but I don’t want to make it too lengthy. Even if I were to rewrite it next week, or even tomorrow it would probably be a bit different. Most of all, because of this day I was given an amazing gift. Hope. And that is what I cling to and the one thing I could not live without.

 

There was more to life.

I knew it.

Now looking back I see how God was getting my attention.

But at the time I felt lost.

And I was searching without realizing that’s what I was doing.

I grew up going to church on the holidays.

Always believing in God.

It’s hard to boil everything down to make a quick synopsis

of becoming a Christian. I guess I still am becoming one.

Because really I now look back and see God pulling on me

over time.

It was like He was waking me up.

And over time there were those moments

where I thought of Him.

But on January 11, 1995 I really caught a glimpse. I was 15.

My best friend and I were returning from our lunchtime stroll.

As we came back to our friends at the table

I remember hearing them say

“Don’t tell us we’re going to hell.”

That caught my attention.

There were a couple new guys talking with them.

So we joined them and soon enough

it was just the two of us listening to this guy, a senior,

telling us about Jesus.

It was new to me.

I don’t remember exactly what he was saying.

All I remember

and I can still picture today

is watching his mouth speak of

a wonderful love.

Something so real.

I could see on his face,

in his smile,

and I had to know more.

There we stood, on the quad,

at Arlington High

listening to him talk

for two hours.

Missed both fifth and sixth periods.

Standing out in the rain.

Not a soul interrupted us.

No campus supervisors to check our pass (a miracle in itself).

And then the bell rang to go home.

He asked if we wanted to pray.

And in my head

over and over again

I kept saying

“No I don’t want to pray.”

“Don’t pray.”

But nevertheless we prayed.

I didn’t magically feel changed.

Maybe a bit perplexed.

And he invited us to join him at bible study that night.

So when he didn’t arrive to give us a ride 

we considered just not going,

But we got a ride from our parents.

And from there it was a process.

It’s still such a process.

Initially certain things changed pretty rapidly.

My language.

Actually it’s funny because Nolan was just asking me

and talking to me about if I used bad words when

I was a teenager.

And I explained to him how I used to.

(Oh man this is probably just the beginning of these conversations!)

But really after this point

I know that God grabbed on to me.

And as I walk along this road of trying to follow Him

I just realize more and more that

I’m a walking contradiction.

A hypocrite.

But there’s no other way to be a Christian.

I mean we are called to be like Jesus.

Jesus. He was and is perfect.

So I’m realizing that every Sunday I meet up

with a group like myself,

a collection of hypocrites.

I keep singing out words that

I hope to live up to.

I sing on Sunday about how I want to be used by God.

And it’s like I’m praying to want that.

But really I think

that each day you wake up

you have a decision.

And that is

“Do you want to live for Christ today?”

It doesn’t mean doing something dramatic or crazy.

But for me it’s just a perspective. A choice.

A reason to live. To hope.

Because my hope is to show His love to others

much like it was shown to me that rainy January day.

 

…Three months later,

at lunch time once again,

this same senior

introduced me to an

exceptionally handsome junior

named

Mark

who had just

given his life

to Christ the week before.

 

Feb '96- A Year Later- @ Harvest Winter Camp