Celebrating our son’s birthday
without Mark felt so wrong.
From the very first moment
we knew we were pregnant
we were in it together.
And so as I gathered pictures for
Nolan’s birthday post,
I stumbled upon some more of
Mark’s letters and cards.
They say so much.
This is part of a card Mark
gave me for my 22nd birthday.
He bought me a blank card
and filled it with his words.
He says he doesn’t feel words are adequate
for a happy birthday wish.
Many times I don’t have the words.
I think of Nolan
and how much Mark would want
to wish these same things to him.
And that Mark would
want to tell Nolan
how much he loves him, but even
more to be here with him,
watching him talk, or laugh or sleep.
I like to remind Nolan how much
his Dad loves him
since he can’t tell him himself.
Angie-
What words could ever express my joy, as we celebrate yet another year of your life together…. It seems vain to attempt to stir up words to find a proper sentence to wish you a happy b-day. The day you came into the world. The day you began to exist…. I would rather be with you, watching you talk, or laugh or sleep. No words spoken or written can compare to the actual experience of living a happy b-day. And so, as you continue on this special day, remember to stop. Think about the Unseen Reality, think about your friends and family that love you. Take this day over, because you can, because you are special. Angie, what I am trying to say is that I know that I love you and only wish the best for you everyday of your life.
Love Mark
P.S. Thanks for being pregnant ☺
June 12, 2009 at 4:00 am
I have always thought words are one of the most precious gifts God gave us to give each other. They tell so much, if we would just take the time to us them. Blessing to you this weekend.
June 12, 2009 at 4:18 am
WOW-he really had a way with those beautiful words. I’m sure you will treasure it always. A good reminder to US here on earth to get those feelings out on paper to those we love before it’s too late. Happy Birthday Nolan!
June 12, 2009 at 11:56 am
That is a precious picture of the two of them! You are so blessed to have those thoughts written down from your husband. Amazing that you get to share them with your boy!! Happy Birthday!
June 12, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Dear Angie…You are such an unselfish person! Thank you for sharing so much about you and Mark and Nolan….you have allowed us into such a private part of your life and it is an honor to be able to see the love you have for each other… how wonderful that you have kept so many of those special memories to reflect upon ..gradually helping you heal…may you continue to draw your strength from the Lord and gain comfort from loved ones…. you are in my prayers . love Vickie
June 12, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I’m so glad you have these precious words and memories from Mark to treasure. He loved you and Nolan so much. Thank you for sharing your heart Angie.
June 12, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Dear Angie,
I just stumbled upon your website this evening, and ended up reading from your latest post all the way down to the beginning of this journey for you and your precious son. I could see your witness of our amazing Savior woven through each tear-stained thread of this story. What a blessing that even in death, there is victory for His children. My heart aches for yours as your sister in Christ. Please know that I will begin praying for you, too, as so many others in this company are doing. I had written a verse down recently in my journal which is sitting beside my computer as I type. I think God must have given it to me to share with you on this evening…
“Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
You will restore my life again;
From the depths of the earth
You will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
……and comfort me once again.”
Psalm 71:20
Embracing His Promises for You,
cindy
June 13, 2009 at 7:28 am
With every post, we who haven’t met you see more and more of your pain and conflict. I wanted to tell you how amazing you are. It must be hard to get through every day, yet you do. And parenting Nolan, who is grieving his dad in a different way than you grieve your husband, but you’re still there to shepherd him. They say that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle – and your strength is astonishing.
As always, in our prayers and sharing tears,
June 13, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Yesterday, as we headed down Nipton road to the lake I suddenly realized that it was June 12th. Not that I didn’t know that it was June 12th, I did, but I suddenly realized what that meant. It was exactly 6months since that day. The day the phone calls started, “Mark was in a dirt bike accident”. I couldn’t help but think of you and Nolan and how I didn’t even realize before we left for the lake that it was going to be on the day 6months later. I thought of Mark so often, how he, like us, had just gone out to have fun. God we miss Mark so much! Mark was so much a part of our lives. He was mentioned many times at the lake. Mark has his place in heaven, much too soon for any of us. The person Mark was is truly amazing in so many ways. His ability to put his feelings in writing in such a powerful way, and it seemed to only get better with time. God Bless You and Love You Always, Mom
June 13, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Know that your family is always in my thoughts and prayers!
Psalms 18:28-30 For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness. For by thee I have run through a troop; and by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
Prayer Bears
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June 16, 2009 at 6:55 pm
“I love you and only wish the best for you everyday of your life”. Reading that is as if you can hear Mark speaking to you from heaven.
June 30, 2009 at 1:08 am
awww… so sweet…