5 Months.

5 months since Mark died. A little past that actually.

I wish I had some coherent thought to share.

Some overarching theme to this month

to sum up how I’m doing.

How we’re doing.

Some encouragement.

A real sentiment. A bit of emotion.

But I feel dry.

I’m beginning to feel.

And my eyes are more open.

Never in my adult life have I not been a part of a couple.

At age 15 I started dating Mark.

And pretty much from that point we’ve been attached

at the hip.

So this month

has been more of that reality setting in.

I’m seeing

a different side of myself.

There are so many thoughts,

all fragments,

running through my mind.

I hope to piece some of them together.

To encourage.

Or just to be open.

Not sleeping so well.

Dreamed about Mark the other night.

In my dream I woke up and

this reality was all a dream.

Mark was alive.

He was right there next to me.

I told him that I had the

most horrible nightmare.

But then I woke up.

And that nightmare

is my reality.